Understanding Fight, Flight, Freeze & Faw

How your body protects you—and what to do when survival mode becomes your norm

Welcome In

Ever snapped at someone and instantly regretted it?
Felt your heart race before a big conversation—then totally shut down?
Or gone along with something just to keep the peace, even when your gut said no?

You’re not broken. You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re experiencing a biological response to stress that’s wired into your nervous system.

In this article, we’ll break down the four main survival states—Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn—so you can better understand your reactions, support your body, and begin responding instead of just reacting.

What Are Stress Responses, Really?

When your brain perceives a threat—whether physical, emotional, or even imagined—it automatically activates your autonomic nervous system to protect you.

This isn't a conscious choice.
It’s biology doing its job: keeping you alive.

As Dr. Stephen Porges explains in Polyvagal Theory, your nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger—a process called neuroception—and responds faster than your thinking brain can catch up.

These responses are adaptive—meaning they were useful at one time.
But when they become habitual, especially without true danger, they can create patterns that interfere with relationships, work, and inner peace.

 The 4 Main Nervous System Survival Responses

Fight

What it feels like: Anger, irritation, defensiveness, control
What it’s protecting: A need to feel powerful or not dominated
How it shows up:

• Snapping at others
• Needing to be right
• Yelling, arguing, or micromanaging
• Feeling easily provoked or aggressive

Somatic cues: Tight jaw, clenched fists, rising heat in the body
What it needs: Movement to discharge energy, safe ways to express boundaries, co-regulation

Flight

What it feels like: Anxiety, restlessness, overworking, avoidance
What it’s protecting: A need to escape danger or overwhelm
How it shows up:

• Can’t sit still
• Perfectionism
• Constant busyness
• Obsessive thinking or planning

Somatic cues: Racing heart, shallow breath, bouncing legs, darting eyes
What it needs: Grounding, slowing down, orienting to safety, breath regulation

 Freeze

What it feels like: Numbness, disconnection, stuckness, exhaustion
What it’s protecting: A sense of helplessness or shutdown when escape doesn’t feel possible
How it shows up:

• Zoning out
• Inability to make decisions
• Procrastination
• Feeling “checked out” of life

Somatic cues: Collapsed posture, cold extremities, blank stare, fatigue
What it needs: Gentle activation, safe reconnection to the body, warmth, pacing

Fawn

What it feels like: People-pleasing, over-accommodation, codependency
What it’s protecting: A fear of disapproval, abandonment, or conflict
How it shows up:

• Saying yes when you mean no
• Over-apologizing
• Prioritizing others’ needs constantly
• Losing your sense of self in relationships

Somatic cues: Tight throat, holding the breath, shrinking posture
What it needs: Boundaries, internal validation, gentle reconnection to self, self-trust practices

📊 Quick Comparison

What the Research Says

• Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s work shows that trauma lives in the body and often manifests through persistent fight/flight/freeze patterns—even long after the event is over
• Polyvagal Theory (Porges) helps us understand that these states are hierarchical and fluid—you can move between them based on your environment, relationships, and internal cues
• Fawning has gained more recognition recently through the work of trauma therapists like Pete Walker, who described it as a form of “emotional safety-seeking” rooted in complex trauma

🛠️ Try This: Track Your Survival States

3-Minute Nervous System Check-In

1. Pause and close your eyes
2. Ask: Which of these 4 responses feels most familiar today?
3. Notice your body: Where is there tension, speed, stillness, or collapse?
4. Name it without judgment:
   “Ah, this is a bit of freeze.”
   “I’m in fawn mode right now.”
5. Then ask: What would support me right now?
   (e.g., a breath, a walk, a boundary, a moment of stillness)

You’re not trying to eliminate the response.
You’re learning to witness it, support it, and slowly shift it.

Final Note

These patterns aren’t personality traits.
They’re nervous system adaptations—ones you didn’t choose, but can learn to understand and work with.

Every time you pause instead of react, breathe instead of brace, speak instead of appease—you’re expanding your capacity.

And healing becomes possible not by forcing yourself to “be better,” but by honoring the parts of you that once kept you safe.

You don’t have to live in survival mode forever.
But honoring where you’ve been is part of how you get free.

📚 Cited & Inspired By:

• Dr. Stephen Porges – Polyvagal Theory
• Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score
• Pete Walker – Complex PTSD and fawn response
• Dr. Gabor Maté – Somatic trauma and stored emotion
• Harvard Health, NIH – Sympathetic vs. parasympathetic research

➡️ Explore the MicroShift Series